Monday, 28 August 2017

The Hitman's Bodyguard (2017)

Plot:
A hitman (Samuel L. Jackson) needs to be transported from Manchester to the Hague to testify against a Belarusian war criminal. Only Interpol has been compromised so he ends up being chauffeured by a professional bodyguard (Ryan Reynolds). Unfortunately for both them and the audience, the two don't get along.

Review:
The film reeks of inexperience behind the camera. And, upon further inspection, that seems to be the case as we have the director of 'Expendables 3' and the writer of 'Fire with Fire' (never heard of it? well, it's all that's listed on IMDb) churning out a smug, full-of-itself travesty that thinks it's making a witty, exhilarating buddy action-movie when, in reality, it's one of the most amateurish films you'll see all year. Why Reynolds and Jackson got involved, I do not know. Must have come with decent pay. More baffling, is how this ever got greenlit.

The film is essentially 20 minutes long. The only reason it gets close to 2 hours (2 hours!!! This kind of film should be 90 minutes at most) is because it keeps replaying the same thing. The routine being that there is some failed 'banter' between Reynolds and Jackson before it resorts to everyone saying 'fuck' because, apparently, just the use of the word is automatically funny (when, really, it shows a desperate dearth of ideas) before some dull action/chase scene is thrown in. And it does this over and over with the only variation being the location. At times the film decides it wants to mark out the end of each cycle by chucking in some horrendous romance/relationship stuff involving Reynolds and Elodie Yung that will have you clawing your eyes out (that's assuming you haven't already walked out - like I very much wanted to do).

This rinse-and-repeat film should have been a light, short, and disposably watchable little escapade. But, no, instead the audience is left to endure an overlong, banal piece of amateurish film-making and woeful misjudgement from people who clearly have no idea what they should be or are doing.

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